Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Swedes teach Americans how to react to failed attacks

Sweden was recently attacked by a terrorist who blew himself up, almost killing many people.    Fortunately, the only person who died was the terrorist himself.  Of course, next time it could be worse.   Swedes, a people so obsessed with safety that they invented the Volvo,  understand that even a bungled terror attack is cause to feel very frightened; they know that's reason to stay awake at night.

Dr. Rebecca Wolf, Undersecretary for Community and Social Media at the United States Department of Fear, told Fox News, "After hearing of the failed attack in Stockholm, Swedes responded by sharing their fears on Twitter.   The Swedes provide an example for Americans to emulate."  Dr. Wolf explained, "Young Swedes promoted a new Twitter topic (#prayforSweden) which, for several hours, became the top "trending topic" on Twitter.  As a result, 9 million frightened Swedes were able to spread their fear throughout the entire Twitter community -- some 145 million souls."

Here is a sample of DoF's favorite tweets relating to the crisis in Sweden:

 Did you know there's been a Terrorist attack here in Sweden?! I'm scared as hell!
 France, Scotland, Sweden and London. I'm scared actually
 Police doing door to door questioning regarding Sweden Bomber. I was too scared so i went n hid under my duvet
 hey what happened with  ?? we are still in danger :(
 Please  ... There has been a terrorist attack over there. There may be more! 
 gonna sleep. hope there wont be any new bombs this night :/ 
  First terrorist bomb thing here ever last night. So scary.

In the US, when terrorists attacks fail, the TSA creates new inconveniences for travelers, taking away more of their freedoms.   Given that the failed attack in Sweden did not involve air transport, how should Sweden respond?

DoF hopes that Sweden will react by taking away WikiLeak's presumed freedom to publish stolen documents.  The first step, demanding the extradition of Jullian Assange from Great Britain, is already underway.   After putting the alleged sex criminal on trial in Stockholm, DoF urges Swedes to support the  prompt extradition of Assange to the United States to face espionage charges.

By supporting US government secrecy, Swedes support the ability of American leaders to plan future wars in the Middle East.   To paraphrase George W. Bush, if we Americans can fight our wars over there, we many never have to bomb Sweden.

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Dr. Rebecca Wolf
Undersecretary for Community and New Media
United States Department of Fear