Monday, July 28, 2014

Norwegians More Fearful Than Israelis

If fear runs out, how will Gaza's destruction be sustained?
Is Israel suffering a fear deficit relative to other small nations?

Last Wednesday, a terror threat against Norway coincided with Israeli attacks on Gaza that have left hundreds of Palestinian civilians dead. Since few Israeli civilians have been killed by Gaza's rockets, Israel's main justification for pounding Gaza has been that it cannot stand to have its population living in fear.

However, an analysis of English-language Twitter data by our staff reveals that more Norwegians turned to Twitter to share their fears over a four-day period than Israelis since their country's military assault on Gaza began.  

Monday, July 21, 2014

The Middle East Desk


In honor of Israel's work in Gaza, we're posting a section from the "Foreign Affairs" chapter of Fear for America by the U.S. Department of Fear. Considered the essential guidebook to our activities, Fear for America comprises our most important tweets from the first term of the Obama administration.  It is published by The Fear Press.

Note: In the ebook, clicking the chapter title takes you to the Table of Contents and clicking a link under the chapter title takes you to the respective section.  Here these links don't work.

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25





The United States has diplomatic relations with around 180 of the 190 countries in the world. For over a decade, the U.S. has been working tirelessly to convince every country to embrace the fear of terrorism. The techniques of diplomacy used by the U.S. include threats (you’re either with us or you’re with the terrorists), coercion (most favored nation status), and force (responsibility to protect).  




There’s no faction-ridden corner of the Middle East we don’t think it’s our business to stick our noses in. 


Gaza

We remind our media partners that Gaza isn’t Syria. Under-report Palestinian casualties. Don’t treat Gaza eyewitness accounts as credible.

If Gaza had any interest in getting attention *peacefully* they’d have championed something humanitarian and creative like... a flotilla. 


Iraq

Syrian War’s Spillover Threatens a Fragile Iraq
BREAKING: The jihadist insurgency we back in Syria now threatens the stability of Iraq.

Iraq Wants Exxon Out, Russia In
Ingrates.

The Involvement of Salafism/Wahhabism in the Support and Supply of Arms to Rebel Groups Around the World
Some Qatar-channeled arms and money for Syria rebels may have been diverted to Sunni militants in neighboring Iraq. Sorry about that. 


Israel

At departmental meetings, it’s rare that a staff member will speak out against Israeli policy. Nobody here wants to be called an anti-Semite.

Congress plans cuts to our military, social security, Medicare, education, and foreign aid. Aid to Israel, of course, will increase.

Israel Won’t Warn US Before Iran Strike
$3 billion/year sure doesn’t buy us much leverage.

Palestinians Say Freeze in US Aid Taking Effect
We warned Israel that if they continued building settlements we would cut aid to the Palestinians.

If they build them, we will pay. 


Saudi Arabia

Why leave secular regimes in place to fend off al-Qaeda when Saudi-backed replacements are available? #Syria

Licking the boots of a Saudi prince never hurt anyone’s career in this town.




Sunday, July 13, 2014

New Twitter Account Is More Than a Stage to Showcase Terrorist Groups in the Guise of Trolling Them

We use our new Twitter account to promote Terrorists and
 intimidate analysts who don't abide by our playbook. 
Four years ago we launched @FearDept to promote publicize threats to the Homeland. Based on the success of that venture, in 2013 the Secretary of Fear authorized an expansion of our social media operations. Our new account is called @ThinkAgain_DOS (Dept Of State).

"Think Again" is the moto of our newest public relations and thought-policing initiative. The ostensive, publicly acknowledged purpose of the account is to strike back against Terrorists at a moment's notice whenever they terror-tweet. In other words, to troll them.

Some background. Once the destabilization of Syria was underway, the Secretary of Fear asked staff how some of the smaller terrorist groups could get noticed and attract followers. It had come to his attention that even some important terror groups like Al Nussra only have a few thousand followers. Sec Fear identified the need for a stage, a veritable security theater, where up-and-coming terror groups could make a name for themselves; a cyberspace where they could work on developing their infamy.  It occurred to us that if the Department were to follow some terrorist organizations on Twitter, it could enhance their visibility. Sec Fear's recognition of the need to raise the public profile of Twitter Terrorists was the inspiration behind @ThinkAgain_DOS. Pointing to the big picture, the Secretary explained:
Over time, enhancing the profile of Twitter Terrorists ought to help our corporate partners fund new and profitable counter-twitter-terrorism, cyber-warfare, and surveillance initiatives.  
However, our new Twitter account is more than a stage to showcase terrorist groups in the guise of trolling them.  Observers have noticed it serves another, rather insidious purpose.

Jonathan Krohn (@JihadiStuff) told CNN that we "target journalists and analysts with as much verve as attacking jihadis." Krohn's observation was grounded in his firsthand experience interacting with @ThinkAgain_DOS:


We had publicly insinuated that Krohn, an American writer and journalist, works for the Terrorists:


Aris Roussinos (@arisroussinos), a crisis reporter for Vice Magazine, observed of our new Twitter account:


More than a stage for promoting up-and-coming terrorists, @ThinkAgain_DOS provides a platform from which staff can insult, heckle and harass independent analysts and journalists.  This is important because with respect to our operations in Syria, there are voices we would like to silence.

To help Israel dominate its neighborhood, we have been trying to weaken the Syrian state. It's a policy that has resulted in over 150,000 deaths. So far, we have avoided criticism by blaming Assad on the one hand, and on the other, sending American celebrities to Syrian refugees camps to plead that the world do something. Of course, the revolving door between the Department and various human rights organizations has also helped us dodge criticism.

In Libya we funnelled about $500 million to al-Qaeda aligned groups. Likewise, it's no secret that the backbone of our Syria policy entails supporting armed resistance groups who depend on the muscle of al-Qaeda. The Financial Times describes the Terrorists as the "invaluable allies" of the groups we directly support.

Al Qaeda: The friend of our friend...

Whenever independent analysts draw attention to our tactical alliances with bonafide jihadists, we either ask our media partners to ignore their reporting (the Sy Hersh treatment) or we try to intimidate them into silence (#ThinkAgain strategy).

Saudi Arabia is our ally in the war against Syria's secular regime.
In terms of producing quality anti-Syria propaganda, apart from the fact Syria's Christians overwhelmingly support Assad and the likelihood that Assad would win a fair election [update: he won], the most inconvenient fact about Syria is its secularism. It's awkward for us that many Assad supporters have a Western mindset. It's downright embarrassing that Syria under Assad is a more open society than the absolute monarchies of the Gulf, our allies against the Syrians.

Partisangirl (@Partisangirl) has been one of the sharpest critics of our efforts to destabilize Syria. @Partisangirl is a Sunni Muslim who doesn't want to see her country return to the Middle Ages. Many Syrians share @Partisangirl's assessment that Assad remains Syria's best hope for keeping Syria an outpost of secular values in a region where women are often treated as second-class citizens.

The following screenshot is illustrative of the kind of interactions we have with @Partisangirl. To support her arguments, @Partisangirl will cite a reputable journal like Foreign Affairs. Our social media team at @ThinkAgain_DOS will counter with a link to a story we got printed in one of the tabloids.

PartisanGirl quotes from Foreign Affairs, we link to tabloid stories.

Because @Partisangirl is a strong debater, we have learned to respond to her arguments by insulting her. For example, noticing a typo in one of her tweets, we asked her why she couldn't speak English properly.


You might be tempted to call our interactions with @Partisangirl undiplomatic. Absolutely. The last thing we want is a debate about Syria with someone who knows what she is talking about.

UPDATE:
We were engaged in a Twitter conversation with ISIS when @Partisangirl interrupted us, calling attention to our deception.


Partisangirl caught us trying to pass off an old photo of Lebanon for Syria.