Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Dragonfly Spy Drone Tested Over Washington

US Air Force tested a spy drone over Washington DC.
The Washington Monument is visible in the background.
Copyright © 2011 United States Department of Fear.

The Secretary of Fear was invited by the US Air Force to witness a test of an advanced insect spy drone that closely resembles a dragonfly on Sunday.

The event took place on the National Mall in Washington D.C..  Most tourists and residents of the capital had taken cover on account of a hurricane alert.

SecFear told Fear Department Blog, "We like to send in the mosquito drones to observe protests and monitor troublemakers."

The Independent discussed our deployment of insect drones:
Vanessa Alarcon, a university student who was working at an anti-war rally in the American capital last month, told the Washington Post: "I heard someone say, 'Oh my God, look at those.'

"I look up and I'm like, 'What the hell is that?'. They looked like dragonflies or little helicopters. But I mean, those are not insects."

Bernard Crane, a lawyer who was at the same event, said he had "never seen anything like it in my life". He added: "They were large for dragonflies. I thought, 'Is that mechanical or is that alive?'"

The incident has similarities with an alleged sighting at the 2004 Republican National Convention in New York when one peace march participant described on the internet seeing "a jet-black dragonfly hovering about 10 feet off the ground, precisely in the middle of 7th Avenue".

Entomologists suggest that the objects are indeed dragonflies. Jerry Louton, an expert at the National Museum of Natural History, said Washington was home to large, impressively-decorated dragonflies that "can knock your socks off".

However, he admitted that the dragonfly theory did not explain claims made independently by three people at the Washington event.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Espionage Act of 1917

"The source who leaks defense information to the press commits an offense; the reporter who holds onto defense material commits an offense; and the retired official who uses defense material in his memoirs commits an offense."
- Harold Edgar and Benno C. Schmidt, Jr. in "The Espionage Statutes and Publication of Defense Information," Columbia Law Review, May 1973, vol. 73, pp. 929-1087
Alongside surveillance and sexual harassment lawsuits, United States Department of Fear considers the Espionage Act of 1917 one of the government's most important tools in our war against WikiLeaks.

Persons Guilty Under the Espionage Act
In fact, we have urged the Justice Department to throw the Espionage Act at anyone who assists WikiLeaks.  Clearly, anyone who helps to disseminate government secrets released by WikiLeaks should be found guilty under the Espionage Act.   For example, persons guilty under the Act must be assumed to include everyone who is responding to this recent appeal by WikiLeaks:

Friends of the Department Won't Face Prosecution Under the Act
Technically, the Espionage Act applies to retired officials who publish government secrets in their memoirs.   Former SecDef Donald Rumsfeld recently Tweeted:

Of course, Donald Rumsfeld has nothing to worry about.   Provisions of the Espionage Act do not apply to officials covered by Look Forward Not Backward Doctrine.  
For the benefit of prosecuting attorneys at the Department of Justice and in the interest of intimidating persons who might be tempted to follow WikiLeaks, we're posting the text of the Act:

The Espionage Act of 1917

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled

Title I


Section 1


(a) whoever, for the purpose of obtaining information respecting the national defence with intent or reason to believe that the information to be obtained is to be used to the injury of the United States, or to the advantage of any foreign nation, goes upon, enters, flies over, or otherwise obtains information, concerning any vessel, aircraft, work of defence, navy yard, naval station, submarine base, coaling station, fort, battery, torpedo station, dockyard, canal, railroad, arsenal, camp, factory, mine, telegraph, telephone, wireless, or signal station, building, office, or other place connected with the national defence, owned or constructed, or in progress of construction by the United States or under the control or the United States, or of any of its officers or agents, or within the exclusive jurisdiction of the United States, or any place in which any vessel, aircraft, arms, munitions, or other materials or instruments for use in time of war are being made, prepared, repaired. or stored, under any contract or agreement with the United States, or with any person on behalf of the United States, or otherwise on behalf of the United States, or any prohibited place within the meaning of section six of this title; or

(b) whoever for the purpose aforesaid, and with like intent or reason to believe, copies, takes, makes, or obtains, or attempts, or induces or aids another to copy, take, make, or obtain, any sketch, photograph, photographic negative, blue print, plan, map, model, instrument, appliance, document, writing or note of anything connected with the national defence; or

(c) whoever, for the purpose aforesaid, receives or obtains or agrees or attempts or induces or aids another to receive or obtain from any other person, or from any source whatever, any document, writing, code book, signal book, sketch, photograph, photographic negative, blue print, plan, map, model, instrument, appliance, or note, of anything connected with the national defence, knowing or having reason to believe, at the time he receives or obtains, or agrees or attempts or induces or aids another to receive or obtain it, that it has been or will be obtained, taken, made or disposed of by any person contrary to the provisions of this title; or

(d) whoever, lawfully or unlawfully having possession of, access to, control over, or being entrusted with any document, writing, code book, signal book, sketch, photograph, photographic negative, blue print, plan, map, model, instrument, appliance, or note relating to the national defence, wilfully communicates or transmits or attempts to communicate or transmit the same and fails to deliver it on demand to the officer or employee of the United States entitled to receive it; or

(e) whoever, being entrusted with or having lawful possession or control of any document, writing, code book, signal book, sketch, photograph, photographic negative, blue print, plan, map, model, note, or information, relating to the national defence, through gross negligence permits the same to be removed from its proper place of custody or delivered to anyone in violation of his trust, or to be list, stolen, abstracted, or destroyed, shall be punished by a fine of not more than $10,000, or by imprisonment for not more than two years, or both.

Section 2

Whoever, with intent or reason to believe that it is to be used to the injury or the United States or to the advantage of a foreign nation, communicated, delivers, or transmits, or attempts to, or aids, or induces another to, communicate, deliver or transmit, to any foreign government, or to any faction or party or military or naval force within a foreign country, whether recognized or unrecognized by the United States, or to any representative, officer, agent, employee, subject, or citizen thereof, either directly or indirectly and document, writing, code book, signal book, sketch, photograph, photographic negative, blue print, plan, map, model, note, instrument, appliance, or information relating to the national defence, shall be punished by imprisonment for not more than twenty years: Provided, That whoever shall violate the provisions of subsection:

(a) of this section in time of war shall be punished by death or by imprisonment for not more than thirty years; and

(b) whoever, in time of war, with intent that the same shall be communicated to the enemy, shall collect, record, publish or communicate, or attempt to elicit any information with respect to the movement, numbers, description, condition, or disposition of any of the armed forces, ships, aircraft, or war materials of the United States, or with respect to the plans or conduct, or supposed plans or conduct of any naval of military operations, or with respect to any works or measures undertaken for or connected with, or intended for the fortification of any place, or any other information relating to the public defence, which might be useful to the enemy, shall be punished by death or by imprisonment for not more than thirty years.

Section 3

Whoever, when the United States is at war, shall wilfully make or convey false reports or false statements with intent to interfere with the operation or success of the military or naval forces of the United States or to promote the success of its enemies and whoever when the United States is at war, shall wilfully cause or attempt to cause insubordination, disloyalty, mutiny, refusal of duty, in the military or naval forces of the United States, or shall wilfully obstruct the recruiting or enlistment service of the United States, to the injury of the service or of the United States, shall be punished by a fine of not more than $10,000 or imprisonment for not more than twenty years, or both.

Section 4

If two or more persons conspire to violate the provisions of section two or three of this title, and one or more of such persons does any act to effect the object of the conspiracy, each of the parties to such conspiracy shall be punished as in said sections provided in the case of the doing of the act the accomplishment of which is the object of such conspiracy. Except as above provided conspiracies to commit offences under this title shall be punished as provided by section thirty-seven of the Act to codify, revise, and amend the penal laws of the United States approved March fourth, nineteen hundred and nine.

Section 5

Whoever harbours or conceals any person who he knows, or has reasonable grounds to believe or suspect, has committed, or is about to commit, an offence under this title shall be punished by a fine of not more than $10,000 or by imprisonment for not more than two years, or both.

Section 6

The President in time of war or in case of national emergency may by proclamation designate any place other than those set forth in subsection:

(a) of section one hereof in which anything for the use of the Army or Navy is being prepared or constructed or stored as a prohibited place for the purpose of this title: Provided, That he shall determine that information with respect thereto would be prejudicial to the national defence.

Section 7

Nothing contained in this title shall be deemed to limit the jurisdiction of the general courts-martial, military commissions, or naval courts-martial under sections thirteen hundred and forty-two, thirteen hundred and forty-three, and sixteen hundred and twenty-four of the Revised Statutes as amended.

Section 8

The provisions of this title shall extend to all Territories, possessions, and places subject to the jurisdiction of the United States whether or not contiguous thereto, and offences under this title, when committed upon the high seas or elsewhere within the admiralty and maritime jurisdiction of the United States and outside the territorial limits thereof shall be punishable hereunder.

Section 9

The Act entitles "An Act to prevent the disclosure of national defence secrets," approved March third, nineteen hundred and eleven, is hereby repealed.

Excerpts transribed, but not written by
Originial source is United States Government

Prophetically, SecFear Malcolm P. Stag III said in a 2004 address to Harvard Law School:
"In the fight for government secrecy, the Espionage Act is our big stick.  Its relevance is likely to increase.  I'm confident that future American leaders will regard the 1917 Act as a more important document than the Constitution."   
In December 2011 the House Justice Committee discussed the implications of the Espionage Act for the prosecution of WikiLeaks, its leader Julian Assange, and their co-conspirators in the media. 

See also here.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Operation Cola Freedom

"...these lemonade stand shutdowns seem to be getting more and more common. If you set up a stand for your kids, just be prepared for a visit from the cops."

Operation Cola Freedom
In mid-July an elite unit of DoF Intelligence -- they had been assigned to read the personal emails of politically active Americans -- learned that members of the Lemonade Liberation Army (LLA) planned to distribute low-priced lemonade on Capitol Hill in August.

The US Dept. of Fear enjoys a longstanding partnership with American's leading cola drink manufacturers.  On account of this mutually beneficial relationship, we have long been committed to closing down lemonade stands throughout the country.  The moment the intel came in, SecFear set the gears of 'Operation Cola Freedom' in motion.

The intention of this article is to provide the American People with important background about Operation Cola Freedom, and explain what's at stake for America in the "War on Lemonade."  

Background: "The War on Lemonade"
Up until the 1980s kids throughout America were allowed to sell lemonade on the street in the summertime.  At that time, Lemonade stands were just about as ubiquitous as crack houses.  Of course, that was before we asked television news stations to alert parents to the threat of child abduction on a nightly basis.  For the most part, street-corner lemonade stands are today a thing of the past.

Most American children spent the summer of 2011 safely inside their homes watching television or playing video games while they drank Coca-Cola and snacked on Oreo cookies.  We've come a long way.   Today when American kids need refreshment, their parents know enough to buy Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, or 7-Up.   Parents don't have time to make lemonade.  And parents know it's too risky to let their children do it.

The Lemonade Liberation Army put this highly profitable trend at risk, threatening the growth of America's highly successful beverage and food conglomerates.  Fortunately, the LLA violated any number of Department of Commerce policies, the regulations of various other departments, including health and safety statues.   

Intelligence reports suggest that LLA calculated it could charge $0.10 per cup of lemonade and still make a profit. If the American public learned about this, they might suspect Coca-Cola and Pepsi were overcharging them. We're well aware that the jobless masses are sick and tired of having to scrounge for $2.50 in coins to buy a can of Sprite. The LLA threatened to create an explosive situation.  Keep in mind that the Lemonistas were apprehend only days after young rioters looted London.  

Distribution of non-HFCS, non-chemically-sweetened products
A source within the LLA told us that LLA lemonade was sweetened with sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). We passed along this information to the Department of Agriculture (DOA), the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).  They responded promptly, alerting various corporate lobby groups. Congress promptly approved funding for Operation Cola Freedom.

The Department of Agriculture issued the following statement:
 "American taxpayers subsidize agribusinesses (i.e. Monsanto) and industrial-scale farms so they can grow genetically modified corn. Subsidized American GMO corn is sold for the manufacture of HFCS at a sufficiently low cost to undermine otherwise highly competitive sugar farmers in the developing world (Haiti, Laos, Egypt, Ghana, etc.)....  The State Department is aware of the situation....  In addition, non-compliance with the HFCS mandate has the potential to reduce the rates of certain chronic diseases in the population.  Any significant improvement in the health of the American public would impact the profitability of our partners in the American pharmaceutical industry. Accordingly, we have notified the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO)."
Food and Drug Administration (FDA) expressed concern that no Aspartame-based diet sweeteners (Nutrasweet, Splenda, etc.) had been used in manufacturing the LLA lemonade.   Aspartame contributes not only to the bottom line of its manufacturer, but its scary chemical profile renders the chemical a godsend to the pharmaceutical industry.  Accordingly, the FDA notified the relevant industry lobby groups.  The lobbyists pressured members of Congress to transfer $87 million dollars from the Social Security Administration account to the Homeland Security budget:  Operation Cola Freedom was born.

Additionally, the FDA has reviewed videos made by our security forces during Operation Cola Freedom. FDA is now concerned that LLA members could be heard promoting "nutritious lemonade" and one member referred to "lemons" as healthy. Clearly, several LLA members made illegal health claims about lemons. Accordingly, FDA informs us that additional charges will be pressed. An FDA official has asked us to remind the American people that "lemons are not a drug and cannot be advertised to treat or cure any disease."

Our security forces fully supported the execution of Operation Cola Freedom.  In fact, as this officer makes clear, there's nothing they won't do for us in The War on Lemonade. 

Sam Buckmeister, director of Operation Cola Freedom, wants to thank the Word Trade Organization (WTO) and the American Beverage Association.   The United States Department of Fear would like to congratulate its Washington D.C. based security forces for the success of Operation Cola Freedom.

To keep up with recent crackdowns in the War on Lemonade, you will want to bookmark this map
For now (but not for much longer) the Lemonade Liberation Army has a Facebook Page. Special thanks to this blogger for alerting DoF to one of the videos.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Soviet threat revisited

With three exceptions (Jon Huntsman, Gary Johnson and Ron Paul), staff of DoF are inspired by the candidates in the 2012 Republican Party presidential primaries.

The obvious favorite around the water-coolers of DoF Center is Texas Governor Rick Perry.  But one can sense continued excitement about Dr. Michele Bachmann. 

Monday, August 22, 2011

Because ignorance causes fear

The last edition!
Too often, ordinary citizens -- troublemakers -- have turned to libraries and librarians to arm themselves with facts and figures.  Although we have not convinced the states to sell off all the public libraries, an important step towards making libraries less useful is to eliminate up-to-date reference books.

We want to express our admiration for Director Robert Groves of the Census Bureau.  Groves recently elected to terminate publication of an immensely popular economics-related fact-book: “Statistical Abstract off the United States.”  Many non-experts and journalists consider the book an indispensable resource about the US economy.

Robert J. Samuelson, the Washington Post financial columnist, comments:
I am a devoted fan of the Stat Abstract. In four decades of reporting, I have grabbed it thousands of times to find a fact, tutor myself or answer a pressing question. Its figures are usually the start of a story, not the end. They suggest paths of inquiry, including the meaning and reliability of the statistics themselves (otherwise, they can mislead or tell false tales). The Stat Abstract has been a stalwart journalistic ally. With some interruptions, the government has published it since 1878. No more. The Stat Abstract is headed for the chopping block. The 2012 edition, scheduled for publication later this year, will be the last, unless someone saves it. 
In our view, it's liberal economist Paul Krugman who makes the best case for terminating "Statistical Abstract":
Killing the publication for the sake of a tiny saving would be a truly gratuitous step toward a dumbed-down country.
"Timendi causa est nescire" (Ignorance causes fear) is the moto of the United States Department of Fear.