Obama may seem calm and cool in contrast to the impulsive John McCain. Don't believe it. A team of APA certified psychologists -- on leave from a CIA black site in Thailand -- have concluded that Obama is a habitual user of Cannabis sativa. In colloquial parlance, the candidate is usually stoned.
Dr. Mark Wetboard of UCLA summarized the panel's conclusion: "In our dangerous world, how else could a US presidential candidate remain so calm and cool, giving off the impression that he is so in control of things?"