Thursday, December 1, 2011

Wikipedia photos prove Iran culpable in terrorism

UPDATES (2)
In addition to spying on the private communications of the American People, counter-terrorism analysts of the United States Department of Fear routinely harness "open source" online resources in our effort to combat terrorism.

Recently, while surveying Wikipedia, a DoF staff member detected a pattern in some photographs.

The photos discovered by our analyst reveal the "missing link" that connects the 2001 anthrax attacks--long believed to have been carried out by Al Qaeda--to Al Qaeda on the Arabian Peninsula and Quds Force. Quds Force, of course, is the unit of the Iranian Guard most recently implicated in the plot to kill the Saudi Ambassador.    





Based on this timely and important discovery, the U.S. Department of Fear has requested an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council.  On Tuesday SecFear will demand the Security Council pass a resolution authorizing one of our allies to attack Iran's nuclear facilities -- facilities we're convinced are being used to build nuclear bombs

UPDATE 1: 
James Fallows, a journalist for the Atlantic Monthly, has published information that skeptics claim puts a cloud of doubt over the credibility of our evidence of a link between the 2001 anthrax attacks, Al Qaeda and its dangerous new affiliate, and Iran's Quds Force.

UPDATE 2:
Secretary of Fear Malcolm P. Stag III announced late Thursday afternoon that he will go forward with his plan to present the UN Security Council with the hard photographic evidence.

"Quds Force carried out the 2001 anthrax attacks--the link is irrefutable," SecFear told FoxNews. "Wikipedia is a trusted resource of the intelligence community," he added.   

1 comment:

  1. BeardedDalek6.1.12

    I don't see why people are worried about the CIA editing Wikipedia. Who else is going to up to date information on these people than the ones assassinating and spying on them?

    ReplyDelete

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Dr. Rebecca Wolf
Undersecretary for Community and New Media
United States Department of Fear