Wednesday, June 29, 2011

U2 in concert!

A liberal blog (of all places!) explains the significance of this video:
State Department legal advisor Harold Koh is turning out to be the Obama administration’s John Yoo.  He spoke at a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing on Tuesday to explain his ridiculous interpretation of the War Power Resolution which Obama favored over the advice of his top military and administration legal advisers....

Office of Legal Counsel adviser John Yoo during the Bush administration was so accommodating in his interpretation of law and executive power that Bush and his team placed the greatest emphasis on his counsel, which provided legal sanction to Bush war crimes, especially regarding torture. The Obama administration has relied on Koh’s legal advice on everything from detention policies to drone strikes and now on Libya. Every administration needs their lawyer liar.
Harold Koh speaks and acts in concert with the approach pioneered by John Yoo.

But defending the extralegal initiation of a war takes a lot more guts than writing up a justification for the president's right to torture terror suspects.    That's why the staff of the United States Department of Fear admire the second even more than the first.  We think Obama's Yoo is...

Friday, June 10, 2011

Test of new Emergency Alert System scheduled just before election day

Television and Broadcast Journal reports:
The feds have scheduled the first ever national test of the Emergency Alert System. The Federal Emergency Management Agency and the Federal Communications Commission will conduct the test Wednesday, Nov. 9 at 2 p.m. EST. The duration may last up to three-and-a-half minutes.

A national alert enables the president to break into regular broadcasts and address the American public during emergencies. One has never been issued in the history of the system, established in 1951 by then President Harry Truman during the Cold War....
The first test of this system will amount to a three minute "national meditation" on the threats to our way of life.  

We believe Nov 9th is the best day of the year to conduct annual tests, as it so close to election day. (We prefer that fears about national security threats rather than the state of the economy inform voter choices on election day.) We're excited by the last line of the article, that reads: 
After the first test in November, weekly or monthly tests are likely to become routine, according to the FCC.  
The more frequently such tests are conducted, the better for keeping America on its toes.  As for the first test, we have marked the day on our calendars.  We suspect that publicity leading up to the test -- the anticipation -- will generate as much anxiety as the test itself.

If the enemy isn't nearby, Americans seek friendly advice

The death of Osama bin Laden was something to celebrate, but it leaves us without a high-profile enemy. One idea we're tossing around is funding a new Cold War. What future world power would you like to see us picking fights with?


Let's stick with the Global War on Terror.
Let's pursue domestic threats more agressively so as not to remain dependent on foreign enemies.
Let's continue to militarize the war on drugs and look south of the border.
Let's go with Israel's recommendation

Total votes: 45 

The survey was conducted May 16-26, 2011.  
Following the death of Bin Laden, Americans were given a chance to have a say on who our next enemy should be.

We're please that so many of you (35%) want us to pick a fight with China. But hold your horses! We're still learning from China. Moreover, making an enemy of largest trading partner is problematic for our partners on Wall Street.

The most popular option is the most appealing to your government:  The most popular response among the respondents (42%) believe America should outsource the process of designating our future enemy to our closest friend and ally situated in the most volatile region of the world.   Indeed, Israel is ideally situated to identify any future enemy for the United States.

Almost half of respondents are enthusiastic about combating local threats to the Homeland. We are pleased that solid constituencies support pursuing domestic threats more aggressively (24%) and escalating the War on Drugs (24%). 

The principle we draw from our survey is that if the enemy isn't close to home, Americans yearn to go with the advice of their toughest friend.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Bin Laden death t-shirts make great souvenirs

On the way to work this morning DoF staff member Bob "Blazer" McRoy spotted some hawkers selling Bin Laden death t-shirts. DoF staff members rushed out to buy them. By the end of lunchtime the hawker had sold out.  

Want one?  The vendor assures us more are on order from China.